THE END

and there ended the tragic life of Lady Macbeth. she died with a heavy heart, heart full of guilt and remorse. perhaps we cannot say that she is completely heartless because it seems that she does have a heart. oh well, its too late anyway. too many lives have been lost. Good Bye Lady Macbeth, i don't think we'll be seeing you in heaven, so good bye for good.

thank you for hanging on with us on this long and winding journey through the life of Lady Macbeth! Ezekiel and Grace are eternally grateful to you wonderful people... WE LOVE YOU ALL! hugs and kisses! God bless.

suicide letter

Dear Macbeth,
Thank you, dear one, for giving me the best years of my life. Thank you for loving me for all these years. Knowing you has made this wretched life of mine worth the while. It is a pity that i can't stay any longer but there is something in the back of my mind that keeps bugging me day after day. I reckon it is what they call guilt. I try to decieve myself, to tell myself that i couldn't care more about Duncan than i would a cow. But the truth is, i do care. It does matter to me and i am affected by it. I can't live like this any longer. To make matters worse, you seem to be so far from me. I feel that it is pointless living if you don't love me. I'm sorry that things turned out this way. I thought that if you were king, we would be so happy. But i guess i was wrong wasn't i? Please don't cry for me, my love. All i ask is that you miss me and remeber me. Don't let me slip out of your memory. By the time you're done reading this, i would be gone. Gone, gone into the Netherlands. Perhaps karma has caught up with me. Anyway, my life is not worth living so i might as well just say goodbye now. There is this void inside me although i have everything a person could possibly want. Maybe i should have given God a chance huh? Well, its all too late now. Good bye my lover, my best friend. You were great while things lasted. I love you. Good Bye.
regrets and remorse,
Lady Macbeth

Guilt

I feel so guilty!! Help me! Help me someone !! Anyone, please!! Oh please!!Ahhhh..... I see so much blood. NO! NO! How could that old man have so much blood. Out! Out, I say! even if the entire oceans were used to wash my hands, they ould still be stained! why Lord, why?

NO....It was not me who killed the Thane of Fife's family. Please leave me alone!!! I'm innocent. i didn't kill Duncan! Macbeth did! i.. i.... i didn't do anything!!!!

Away....Away from me, I say. Banquo, you are dead......You should be in the grave. Stop haunting me......

Noooooooooo!!! The smell of blood is still there!! no, no. this can't be. no. no no no no no... i'm not supposed to care about this conscience crap. no. this can't be. i must be possessed! that's it! it has to be that way. I, Lady Macbeth, Queen of Scotland, am not feeling guilty. How could i? only Macbeth could go crazy over petty issues such as this. what's wrong with me!!!

why is my candle getting shorter each time i wake in the morning? someone must be using it at night! it isn't Macbeth... he has his own. it must be that blasted maid. cheapskate... she can't even afford her own candle? stupid maid. i must remeber to fire her tomorrow. silly rabbit of a girl.

The banquet is ruined!!

The banquet was going well. Macbeth behaved like any gracious host should. He was perfect in every way. He welcomed the guests, asking them to sit according to ranks. He was in such a jovial mood that he almost had me convinced that the earlier conversation we had was all a dream. Macbeth was indeed like a serpent underneath an happy, bubbly flower. I think he has mastered the art of pretence. But then all that changed!! Halfway through the banquet, he suddenly left and just disappeared. And I had to look for him! At first, I thought it was only a minor setback but to my horror, things became bad to worse. Macbeth gave a toast and then wished that Banquo was at the Banquet. That was when things took a drastic turn!....Lennox asked him to take a seat but he replied that there was no seat left. At that moment, I suspected something was wrong. And I was right!!!
That Macbeth actually thought a GHOST was sitting at his place. And this did not happened just once but twice!!

What an idiot that Macbeth is! He almost gave us away and spoiled the banquet. Oh, of course, I still love you, my dear....But how stupid you were! You told me to mask my true feelings but what about you?? You just had to hallucinate again. How many times must this happen?? Shouldn't you be used to the idea of death and blood??? You are a warrior, a fighter. You should be used to all this. If not for me......I do not know what the outcome would be! I had to lie and say that you had fits since young. Are you a man?? First you hallucinated about the dagger and now this. Shame on you!! You better get back to your senses or else.......

That fool still insisted that he had saw a ghost!! He even asked the guests why they were not afraid!Oh my gosh!! stupidity upon stupidity... how could i have married this nincompoop and put my life on the line for his happiness?? How stupid can you get!! In the end, I had to ask the guests to leave, putting us in a bad light. But all in all, I think he was just guilty. But guilty of what?? I think this has something to do with the absence of Banquo and Fleance from the banquet. However, he managed to pull himself together. Thank heavens!!Macbeth is now suspicious of Macduff since he did not attend the meeting. Macbeth has decided to visit the witches to enquire about the future.

He has also decided to do anything to secure his position. Just what is he planning to do? And what has he already done?? I have so many questions in my head. One thing is for sure, the Macbeth I had married is so different from the Macbeth I now know. And I am not sure if I like this drastic transformation......

KINGSHIP....But at what price??

Oh why? Why am I regretting? Why am I not happy? My dream has finally been realized!All those fantasizing has become a reality. I can dress in all those silk dresses,own as many jewels as I like. I should be rejoicing, celebrating the success of the coronation. But....WHY AM I NOT FEELING THAT WAY???? I feel so depressed and insecure! I do not know what to do. I would rather be like Duncan,dead, than to be alive- living with remorse. But, I cannot let my emotions show. I must keep up the facade, I MUST! but this is so tiring.. yet, I MUST! Why? Because I do not want to allow these emotion-thingamajigs I deemed as milk of human kindness, to trouble my husband. I must remain strong for him, give him my fullest of support. Be his pillar of strength, his right hand woman.Thus, I can show the sincerity of my love for him.

However, Macbeth too seems to be downcast. I wonder what’s wrong! He spends his time alone by himself with only his thoughts as companions. He does not mingle about, socialising with the guests. He says that we have only put the problems at a distance but have not dealt with the root of all these problems. But I do not know what he is talking about. He thinks our positions are far from being safe, but from what? He also fears that we will spend the rest of our lives in terror and dream of nightmares night and day. He even thought of death as a solution from all these guilt. He also envies Duncan, saying that by killing him, Macbeth has removed all his problems and burdens. I feel that he is thinking too much.

My dearest love, all I wanted was for you to be happy, but now it seems that the murder of Duncan has made you miserable. You should let bygones be bygones. Do not dwell on the past. Look towards our bright future as King and Queen. When the banquet begins, be a gracious host, mingle with the guests and do not let your troubles affect your countenance. Smile! Be of good cheer! Welcome them with open arms.

But that does not concern me the most. The thing that concerns me the most is Macbeth. He really is distancing himself from me. In the past, he would share his deepest secrets with me, but now he is talking in riddles and does not confide in me his secrets and plans. He agreed to my advice but he also instructed me to do the same. Be hospitable to Banquo, pay special attention to him and do not let your true feelings show on your face- these were Macbeth's instructions to me. But then, he said that his mind was full of malicious thoughts with regards to the fact that Banquo and Fleance, his son, lives. But why? They will not live forever so why worry? Macbeth also told me to rejoice when a deed is done as something terrible will happen to them.But what deed?? He would not answer my plead and instead asked me to be ignorant. He also commanded the night to become dark and the stars to be covered so that they would not see the deed being committed. Just as I had suspected Macbeth is indeed hiding something from me! what deed?!?!?!

My beloved, why all this secrecy? Do you not trust me? All the guilt, the secrecy- are these the price for kingship? sometimes i ask myself if all the trouble that we've gone throughis really worth it or not. i can't sleep well and neither can Macbeth and our relationship has been so strained lately... maybe Thane of Cawdor was better for Macbeth than king os Scotland. Honey, please smile... at least for me. or do i not matter to you anymore?

Success!!!

HA HA!! KINGSHIP IS OURS AT LONG LAST! I am so excited!! I am now Queen. Yes!! The coronation was a great success. And now Macbeth and I are going to host a grand party in honor of him being the new king of Scotland.

But.... There is something that really bothers me. I have a feeling that Banquo is suspicious of us. He is now so formal, unlike last time. He used to be so friendly but now he addresses us as "your highness, my good lord", he also said things like"command upon me". He seems to be distancing himself from Macbeth. I know that he should now treat us with respect and such but in private, I am sure there is no need for all this politeness. I don't know...... Maybe I am just imagining things or............ Has all these killings and deception finally gotten to me??

also, my dearest husband doesn't talk much to me anymore. he no longer tells me things. i sense that something is on his mind... yet, when i ask him, all he says is that i don't need to know. but i want to! Macbeth, oh Macbeth... don't you love me the same way anymore? or has the crown made a wall between you and me? i miss you, my love.